My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
