yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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