This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
