ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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