It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
