drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize