so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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