Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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