Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
