Apparently you make a good broom.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize