Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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