Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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