He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
