i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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