im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
