i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
