D3 body, D1 cock
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize