please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
