nut hugger
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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