I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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