I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
