Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
