$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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