im drinking this country out of the recession.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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