Are we in a gay sports bar?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I AM VODKA MAN
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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