i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
