I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
