how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
