OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
