he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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