she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
