They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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