Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
