hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
