I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
