Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
