Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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