I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
