watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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