He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
