im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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