Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
