can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
