Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
