Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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