Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
