Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
