***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
