1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
