the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize