he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
