we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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