How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
