You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
