id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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