before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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