That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize